I miss Seth Meyers in sketches.
 Announcer: From the makers of "Blind Justice", comes a new drama. About overcoming the odds, and living your dream. Deaf Judge: I graduated at the top of my class at Harvard Law. I was the youngest circuit judge in the history of New York State. Are you telling me that I can't be a judge anymore, just because I lost my hearing? Doctor: [ solemnly ] I'm afraid so. Deaf Judge: What? Doctor: [ louder ] I'm afraid so! Deaf Judge: Yeah, I can't hear you! [ freeze-frame with title ] Announcer: "Deaf Judge." Just because he's deaf, doesn't mean he's not listening. [ dissolve to courtroom scene, Prosecution and Defense standing before the Judge's bench ] Defense: Objection, Your Honor. He is badgering the witness. Deaf Judge: What? Defense: Objection. Deaf Judge: Hey! I'm deaf. I can't hear you. Prosecution: Shouldn't you learn to read lips? Deaf Judge: [ looks at Prosecution curiously ] Read "mips"? That doesn't make any sense. [ show still shots from "Blind Justice" and "Deaf Judge" ] Announcer: Also coming this Fall, from the makers of "Blind Justice" and "Deaf Judge", comes television's most gripping new drama. [ dissolve to Idiot Doctor, dressed in scrubs with his tongue hanging out ] Announcer: A massive head injury left him with the faculties of a four-year old child. The "Idiot Doctor." [ freeze frame, with title ] [ dissolve to a scene: Idiot Doctor wearing a Goofy hat while performing surgery ] Idiot Doctor: Scalpel. [ a scalpel is handed to him; he glances at it ] Idiot Doctor: Ice cream. [ an ice cream cone is held before him; he takes a bite from it ] Idiot Doctor: Motorboat. Idiot Doctor: [ distraught ] Mo-tor-boat!! Announcer: They used to call him Stupid. Now, they call him Doctor Stupid. This Fall, on ABC! [ dissolve ot ABC logo ] [ fade ] |
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