Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Fugazzi Grand II : SNL (#441)

441.  (Zach Galifanakis's Monologue ... Mar 6, 2010)

"The Candidate", August 10th.  No Chili's or Pepino's, though.


Fugazzi Grand II : SNL (#442)

442.  (Regis Co-Host Auditions ... Mar 11, 2000)

You know I love sketches with 5-6 impressions included.


Fugazzi Grand II : SNL (#443)

443.  (Damn It, My Mom is on Facebook Filter ... Oct 9, 2010)

"I'm on the facebook!"




Fugazzi Grand II : SNL (#444)

444.  (Peter Pan Rehearsal ... Dec 7, 2002)

Once again, Bob DeNiro shows his versatility.


Fugazzi Grand II : SNL (#445)

445.  (Grand Master Rap and Kid Shazaam ... Oct 7, 2000)

... and some other guy.


Fugazzi Grand II : SNL (#446)

446.  (Mary Poppins ... Oct 4, 2008)

Hader.















Mary Poppins and Children: (Singing)
"Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.
Even though the sound of it is something quite atrocious.
If you say it loud enough. you'll always sound precocious. 
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!" 

[ the children giggle, as they bench seats opposite Mary Poppins ] 

Jane Banks: Oh, Mary Poppins, that was EVER so much fun! 

Michael Banks: What a delightful new word! 

Jane Banks: It must be the LONGEST word in the dictionary. 

Michael Banks: And the SILLIEST! 

[ an unsettling tension suddenly fills the air ] 

Jane Banks: What does it mean, Mary Poppins? 

Mary Poppins: [ taken aback ] What? Ohhh, that doesn't matter. Its just a silly-billy word. Now, who wants to ride a magical carousel? 

Jane: I do! But first, please tell us what that word means. 

Michael Banks: Yes, there must be some kind of working definition. 

Mary Poppins: Well. If you must know, "supercalifragilisticexpialidocious" is a disease of the liver. It's very rare and extremely painful. 

Jane Banks: Goodness! How'd you ever learn a word like that Mary Poppins? 

Mary Poppins: I have it! I have the disease! 

Michael Banks: Oh! 

Jane Banks: Is it... as fun to have as it is to say, Mary Poppins? 

Mary Poppins: Well... no. What happens, basically, is that your liver stops producing bile. Gradually, you lose the ability to break down acids, and eventually your body just shuts down. Sure is fun to sing though. [ she laughs ] "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!" [ she laughs more maniacally ] 

Children: Is it... contagious, Mary Poppins? 

Mary Poppins: Yes! But only for grown-ups. 

Michael Banks: What does that mean?! 

Mary Poppins: How do I explain it? Sometimes when a man and a woman really fancy each other... 

[ suddenly, Bert the chimney sweep appears ] 

Bert: 'ello everyone! 

Children: Bert!! 

[ Jane runs to greet Bert ] 

Bert: Oh, easy, children! I've got one heck of a stomachache. It must be your cooking, Mary Poppins! 

[ Mary smiles nervously ] 

Michael Banks: [ excitedly ] We just -- we just learned a new word! Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. 

Bert: Oh, how delightful! 

Michael Banks: It's a disease of the liver! 

Jane Banks: Mary Poppins has it! 

Michael Banks: [ he whispers loudly ] It's spread amongst grown-ups! 

Bert: [ he freezes in place ] Is that right? Childrne, would, uh -- excuse us for one moment? [ he approaches Mary ] What they say, Mary? Do you... have something? 

Mary Poppins: Oh, Bert. Don't worry. You look healthy to me. 

Bert: Healthy? I've got black lung from sweeping the chimneys, and now you've given me supercalifragi-whatever. 

Michael Banks: [ singing ] "Expialidocious!" 

Bert: [ to children ] Shut it! 

Mary Poppins: Oh, Bert. Cheer up. It's not that bad. (Singing with the children) "Because... just a spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down, in the most delightful way!!" 

Bert: [ sarcastically ] Sugar. That'll cure my disease. 

[ Constable Jones enters the courtyard ] 

Constable Jones: 'ello guys! 

Children: Constable Jones!! [ they start to rise ] 

Constable Jones: Oh, don't come near me. I'm feeling awfully sick. Must be your cooking, Mary Poppins! So, uh -- what's the good word. 

Bert: Listen, Tommy... [ he whispers into Constable jones' ear ] 

Constable Jones: Oh, no. Supercalifragi-what? 

Michael Banks: [ singing ] "Expialidocious!" 

Bert: Come on, I'll buy you a whiskey. Come on. [ they exit ] 

Michael Banks: This has been... a very unusual day, Mary Poppins. 

Mary Poppins: Well, I'm a very unusual nanny! [ she laughs maniacally ] I guess I'm in pretty serious denial! 

Mary Poppins and Children: (Singing) "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!" 

Fugazzi Grand II : SNL (#447)

447.  (Focus Group ... Oct 1, 2011)

Perhaps the grossest moment on the list, but at the same time, the 447th best moment.


Fugazzi Grand II : SNL (#448)

448.  (Punk'd ... Oct 11, 2003)

Spoiler alert : more JT coming ...


Fugazzi Grand II : SNL (#449)

449.  (Jennifer's Booty ... Feb 10, 2001)

Booty is a funny word, too.


Fugazzi Grand II : SNL (#450)

450.  (Stumblin' ... Dec 11, 2010)

Here's the big question.  Would John Lennon have partaken in a Digital Short ?




Fugazzi Grand II : SNL (#451)

451.  (Joe Pesci's Monologue ... Oct 10, 1992)

Joe Pesci, doing his best Rick Monday impression.


Fugazzi Grand II : SNL (#452)

452.  (Billy Martin sets the building on fire ... May 24, 1986)

... and Lorne saves Jon Lovitz.  True story:  My whole life, up until just a few minutes ago, I thought Billy Martin was married to Angelica Huston.  They hosted together, and for 26 years, I thought they were married.


Fugazzi Grand II : SNL (#453)

453.  (Anderson Mellner Year End Party ... Nov 8, 2003)

Here's another plaque.


Fugazzi Grand II : SNL (#454)

454.  (Pointin' Fingers ... Dec 8, 2001)

Only a Mick Jagger can pull off that shirt.






Fugazzi Grand II : SNL (#455)

455.  (Christmas Eve at the White House ... Dec 20, 1975)

Chevy Chase and "the fall"




Fugazzi Grand II : SNL (#456)

456.  (Uncle Jemima's Pure Mash Liquor ... Feb 5, 2000)

Double duty for Tracy Morgan.




Fugazzi Grand II : SNL (#457)

457.  (Art Garfunkel's Monologue ... Mar 11, 1978)

"But, nooooooooo!"


Fugazzi Grand II : SNL (#458)

458.  (Actor II Actor ... Sept 25, 2010)

Love the black turtleneck.


Fugazzi Grand II : SNL (#459)

459.  (Hugh's Protest Song ... Oct 28, 2006)

Bob Dylan was busy that night.















Hugh Laurie: This is a protest song. [ blows on a harmonica attached to his neck ] 

[ singing ] 

"Well, the poor keep getting hungry, and the rich keep getting fat
Politicians change, but they're never gonna change that.
Girl, we got the answer, it's so easy you won't believe
All we gotta do is.. [ mumbles incoherently ] 

Well, the winds of war are blowin', and the tide is comin' in
Don't you be hopin' for the good times, because the good times have already been.
But, girl, we got the answer, it's so easy you won't believe
All we gotta do is.. [ mumbles incoherently ] 

It's so easy, to see
If only they'd listen, to you and me.
We got to.. [ mumbles incoherently ] as fast as we can
We got to.. [ mumbles incoherently ] every woman, every man
We got to.. [ mumbles incoherently ] time after time
We got to.. [ mumbles incoherently ] vodka and lime. 

Well, the world is gettin' weary, and it wants to go to bed
Everybody's dyin', except the ones who are already dead.
Girl, we got the answer, starin' us right in the face
All we gotta do is
All we gotta do is
All we gotta do is." 

[ pauses, then blows on the harmonica and finishes ] 

[ the audience cheers wildly ] 

Hugh Laurie: Thank you. 

Fugazzi Grand II : SNL (#460)

460.  (Dr Porkenheimer's Boner Juice ... Oct 2, 2004)

Admit it.  Boner is a funny word.


Friday, July 27, 2012

Fugazzi Grand II : SNL (#461)

461.  (Oprah ... Mar 19, 2005)

Back to Back March 19, 2005 sketches.   I must be getting lazy.


Fugazzi Grand II : SNL (#462)

462.  (Hardball ... Mar 19, 2005)

Back to Back Rob Riggle appearances, wow !  Or should I say, POWW !






Fugazzi Grand II : SNL (#463)

463.  (The Restaurant ... Nov 20, 2004)

I still regard this as one of the better episodes of the last 10 years.


Fugazzi Grand II : SNL (#464)

464.  (John-John Mackey's Storm Tracker Accucast ... Dec 16, 1995)

We need some of this from Vince Condella.  And for Christ's sake, bring back the moustache.




















Lame Weatherman: So this low pressure system is going to be very active. We're gonna have a cold front that's gonna push through - it's really gonna result in some precipitation, so you may want to bundle up and put on your galoshes.. 

Announcer: Are you tired of little boys trying to talk like weatherman, telling you what the weather may or may not be? Then turn to News 4's John-John Mackey and his Storm Tracker Accu-Cast. John-John doesn't just tell you about the weather. He grabs that bastard weather and pounds it into little, pathetic shards. Then shoves those shards into your pink, puffy face. 

John-John Mackey: I'll get you inside the storm! I'll let you live the storm, be the storm! And then, baby, I'll make you love that storm Froggy-Style! 

Announcer: So, if you want to hear vague forecasts full of hot air - watch someone else. But for Storm Tracker in Accu-Cast, turn to John-John Mackey, who will fill every hole you've got with the latest breaking weather! So, when you want to know what storm is breaking, count on John-John Mackey to lasso the storm, take it apart, and show you how sad it really is. 

John-John Mackey: When I see a storm front coming, I'm all, "What's up, bitch?!" And the storm is all, "Not, much, Sir." And I'm all, "That's right, bitch! Now, go make me a sandwich!" And you want that kind of confidence in your weatherman! 

Announcer: "Confidence." So, for earlier warnings, more accurate forecasts, count on News 4's John-John Mackey and his Storm Tracker Accu-Cast! When the weather leaves its house, John-John bangs its wife. "Confidence." 

John-John Mackey: Weekdays, 7 and 11, Channel 4 Pulse News. Be there! 

Fugazzi Grand II : SNL (#465)

465.  (The Be Safe Gang ... Oct 12, 2002)

Who here is into tea bagging ?


Fugazzi Grand II : SNL (#466)

466.  (Anderson Cooper 360 ... Oct 1, 2005)

Some of my favorite moments involve multiple, rapid fire impressions.


Fugazzi Grand II : SNL (#467)

467.  (2006 World Series National Anthem ... Oct 28, 2006)

That Goddamn Carlos Beltran.


Fugazzi Grand II : SNL (#468)

468.  (The Scarlet Letter ... May 12, 2001)

I see ...




Fugazzi Grand II : SNL (#469)

469.  (Katie Holmes' Monologue ... Feb 24, 2001)

Start off with a little "Lazy Susan" ...


Fugazzi Grand II : SNL (#470)

470.  (Wiig's Graduation ... May 19, 2012)

A very cool send off for Kristin Wiig.




Fugazzi Grand II : SNL (#471)

471.  (Mindy & Skye ... Feb 6, 1999)

Little known trivia .... these are original Coldplay lyrics.




Fugazzi Grand II : SNL (#472)

472.  (Airport Blind Date ... Oct 7, 2000)

Uncomfortable, but funny.






Fugazzi Grand II : SNL (#473)

473.  (A Lady's Guide to Throwing a Party ... Nov 14, 2009)

You know, I've never seen Mad Men.


Fugazzi Grand II : SNL (#474)

474.  (Comedy Killers ... Feb 16, 1991)

Roseanne is the next Comedy Central Roast.   Pass.


Fugazzi Grand II : SNL (#475)

475.  (The Shake Weight Commercial DVD ... Apr 17, 2010)

All sorts of wrong.








Fugazzi Grand II : SNL (#476)

476.  (New York Stories ... Oct 7, 2006)

Armisen and Poehler did three of these that night, this was my favorite of the three ...


Fugazzi Grand II : SNL (#477)

477.  (Beauty and the Beast ... Oct 17, 2009)

Fuckin' Moynihan ...




Fugazzi Grand II : SNL (#478)

478.  (Debbie Turner Book Signing ... Oct 10, 2009)

I want to see Hamilton turned into a movie.


Fugazzi Grand II : SNL (#479)

479.  (Country Roses ... Jan 10, 2004)

Not a fan of country music, but I think I'd buy this.


Fugazzi Grand II : SNL (#480)

480.  (Dr Matt Damon ... Oct 5, 2002)

The picture alone explains the joke.


Thursday, July 26, 2012

Fugazzi Grand II : SNL (#481)

481.  (Say Anything ... Nov 21, 2009)

This is perfect for Sudeikis.















Announcer: We now return to the TBS Sunday Night Movie: "Say Anything". 

[ dissolve to film clip: Ione Skye's Diane Court lying on bed ] 

[ cut to exterior of house, John Cusack as Lloyd Dobler, holding the boombox playing Peter Gabriel's "In Your Eyes" below her bedroom window ] 

[ suddenly, a neighbor man carrying a bag of garbage steps into the frame, looks Lloyd up and down, then glances up at the window ] 

Male Neighbor: Alright. 

[ he continues on his way, then re-enters the frame ] 

Male Neighbor: Hey, man... why are you pointing that boombox at my neighbor's house?

Lloyd Dobler: Hey. 

Male Neighbor: Wow! You're dialed in, huh? What the hell are you doing? 

Lloyd Dobler: Trying to win back Diane Court -- 

Male Neighbor: Oh, yeah? 

Lloyd Dobler: The girl I love. She dumped me. 

Male Neighbor: Nice. Alright. [ he shrugs ] Okay. 

[ he continues on his way, then re-enters the frame again ] 

Male Neighbor: Did you try giving her flowers or something, first? 

Lloyd Dobler: I gave her my heart; she gave me a... pen. 

Male Neighbor: [ laughing ] Yeesh! Yikes! Aw, man! Okay, I get it now -- you're trying to scare the HELL out of her! Alright! Yeah, but I don't know about this whole boombox and trenchcoat thing, but, uh -- hey, good luck. 

Lloyd Dobler: Thank you. 

Male Neighbor: Yeah! 

[ he continues on his way, then re-enters the frame yet again ] 

Male Neighbor: Alright, so hold on. Now,is that you singing

Lloyd Dobler: No, it's Peter Gabriel. 

Male Neighbor: Ohhhh! From Genesis, huh? 

Lloyd Dobler: You're thinking of Phil Collins. 

Male Neighbor: No, no! I know Phil Collins was in there! But there's three guys in that band, alright? You got Peter Gabriel, Phil Collins, and, uhhh -- well, there's the third guy that prays every day that his mailbox will have some Genesis residuals! Right? [ he laughs heartily ] Ohhh... [ he snaps his fingers ] Mike Rutherford! Mike Rutherford, that's who it was. So, why this tune? 

Lloyd Dobler: It's the song that was playing the first time we made love. 

Male Neighbor: Ohhh, come on, brother! You don't want to remember the first time! That's the WORST! The first time's weird! Unless she was slutty. You know, if she was slutty, you don't have to worry about that. You don't have to do all this romantic mumbo-jumbo if she's slutty -- you just gotta be MEAN to her, and she'll come back to you. [ he shrugs ] I don't know why that is. So, what are you, like, 19 or something? 

Lloyd Dobler: 19. 

Male Neighbor: 19? Yeah! Man, you got balls something the size of I-don't-know-what! [ he laughs ] Hey, I'm gonna go grab my wife! She'd love this! 

[ he exits the frame, then returns a moment later with his wife ] 

Male Neighbor: Told ya'! 

Female Neighbor: What's he doing? 

Male Neighbor: He's trying to win back Diane Court. 

Female Neighbor: So, what, did he write this song for her? 

Male Neighbor: Mmm-mmm, no! It's Peter Gabriel. He just hit "PLAY"! 

Female Neighbor: He's so weird

Male Neighbor: Aw, come on, Lisa. The guy's standing right here! [ to Lloyd ] Sorry about that, man. She's joking around. You want a frozen grape? 

Lloyd Dobler: No. 

Male Neighbor: Hmm. 

[ Lloyd lowers the boombox ] 

Lloyd Dobler: Listen, can you hold this a second? 

Male Neighbor: Yeah, sure. Your arms getting tired? 

Lloyd Dobler: No! 

Male Neighbor: Alright. [ he turns to his wife ] Hoo! 

[ Lloyd pulls a tape recorder out of his pocket, then begins to speak into it ] 

Male Neighbor: Oh, man... 

Lloyd Dobler: Maybe I didn't really know you -- 

Male Neighbor: [ to his wife ] This kid loves cassettes, huh? 

Lloyd Dobler: Maybe you're just a mirage. Maybe the whole world is full of -- 

Male Neighbor: You've got a lot of electronics, brother! You're like a walking Radio Shack! [ he laughs ] 

Female Neighbor: What's he gonna do with this? 

Male Neighbor: I don't know. [ to Lloyd ] Are you just riffing this thing right now? I love it! 

Female Neighbor: I'm gonna go back inside. This is kind of a bummer. 

Male Neighbor: Alright, sweetie, I'll see you in a sec. 

[ she exits the frame ] 

[ Lloyd grabs his boombox ] 

Male Neighbor: There you go. Yeah, I'm gonna split, too, man. You take it easy, alright? 

[ Lloyd raises the boombox above his head again ] 

[ the neighbor man jokingly tickles under Lloyd's arm, until Lloyd gives him a dirty look ] 

Male Neighbor: Alright... 

[ he exits once more ] 

[ suddenly, the sounds of Phil Collins' "Sussedio" are heard, as the neighbor man rushes back into frame with a boombox of his own ] 

Male Neighbor: Nice! Genesis is back together! [ he laughs and raises his boombox over his head ] I'm just having fun, man! Take care, dude! Good luck! 

Fugazzi Grand II : SNL (#482)

482.  (Important Moments in Black History ... Feb 12, 2005)

"Hell, no", says the black man to the idea of direct deposit.


Fugazzi Grand II : SNL (#483)

483.  (Kuwait Briefing ... Dec 11, 2004)

Darrell Hammond, a solid impressionist.


Fugazzi Grand II : SNL (#484)

484.  ("Thank You for Being a Friend" ... May 8, 2010)

Facebook asked, and SNL delivered ...


Fugazzi Grand II : SNL (#485)

485.  (Looking after Grandma ... Nov 14, 1992)

This reminds me, I gotta watch "The Other Guys" again soon.  


Fugazzi Grand II : SNL (#486)

486.  (Who's More Grizzled? ... Feb 28, 1998)

Is this were real life, I'd say Duvall.


Fugazzi Grand II : SNL (#487)

487.  (David Spade's Therapy Session ... Nov 7, 1998)

Can you believe Brad Pitt has never hosted ?




Fugazzi Grand II : SNL (#488)

488.  (Meryl Streep on Ice ... Dec 11, 2010)

Abby Elliott for the win.


Fugazzi Grand II : SNL (#489)

489.  (We are the World III ... Feb 27, 2010)

Bill Hader's Vedder should be this nation's currency.




Fugazzi Grand II : SNL (#490)

490.  (Super Buzzers ... Mar 2, 2002)

Rip Taylor as Rip Taylor.